Begin at the beginning, then proceed from there....

SO....as I assume you've noticed, I took a wee bit of break from pretty much everything. January was ... hell on wheels. There was one event or volunteer project after another and by the time it was all FINALLY February 1st, the one day I took off to recoup, I got a call from a friend at work letting me know that we're being laid off as of April 30th.

I have this huge fear of being unemployed. I've been unemployed before, a few times actually, but every time it happened it lasted 6 months or more and it was HORRIBLE! I spent all my time frantically searching for jobs and firmly convinced I would never be hired. Yes, I have a negativity problem. It's actually low-self-esteem, but no matter what you call it, it's a problem.

I freaked. I spent all of February with a stress headache, freaking out about what I perceived as my impending doom. Then March arrived and I was bitter for a little while, because KNOWING you will be laid off as of a certain date, and having literally 90 freakin' days to contemplate it...leads to a bit of bitterness, especially when you still have to deal with the people who AREN'T being laid off on a daily basis. It's inevitable.

But I'm over that now...for the most part anyway. And I have reached a point of almost-calm acceptance and am on my way to full-fledged excitement at the prospect, mainly because they've been working us like dogs, threatening to fire us if we don't continue to out-perform everyone else in the company.

That's right, we are the top performers and we are the ones who are being laid off. There's logic behind the decision, though it seems mostly personal logic, not corporate logic. But whatever, I'm not free to tell the story until May 1st, or whenever I actually receive my final paycheck, severance pay and the bonus they promised everyone who stays until April 30th instead of finding a new job.

So I'm coasting along on a wave of anticipation, waiting to crash to the shore. I was trying to figure out why I'm not scared this time. It really makes no sense. I should be a complete head-case by now, but I'm not. The best I can come up with is that I will be joining the ranks of thousands upon thousands in the nation who are already unemployed, and haven't gotten new jobs either because they make more with unemployment than they would with the jobs and pay that are being offered, or because they haven't been hired for the jobs that pay you enough to live on.

Basically, I won't be alone. I won't find a job right away because there aren't any jobs out there worth TAKING right now. On unemployment I get a percentage of my normal paycheck, food stamps and Medicare. If the pay of the jobs I get offered can't at least ADD UP to that much, it's not worth taking. Now, when unemployment runs out, that's another story, but that's more than a year from now. And quite frankly, there's no point in worrying about something over which I have ABSOLUTELY no control. Not to mention, God is obviously changing my path for me. I'm a bit dense, and sometimes he has to club me over the head with his plan, but like a child with ADHD, if He repeats Himself enough times, I'll finally pick up on what he wants and at least head in the general direction.

Plus, not having a job gives me time to write and exercise, two things I have not found time to do because I was too busy working or playing chauffer to my son, whom I affectionately call Little Man (or Little Monster, depends on whether or not I have a headache and how many times I've had to repeat my instructions to him that day.) I'm SO EXCITED by that!

So I'm promising now to update my blog again in a week or so, with more information about coming attractions.

Kisses, Hugs and Spanx!
Luci

Luci Year 32

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Internet that works, a full belly, Christmas tree is up, cats are playing in it already, LM is in bed…Now if only I had the energy and time to wash all the dishes and clean the rest of the house…but I shouldn’t ask for more. I got a lot this year for my birthday.

For my birthday, my 4th time turning 28 despite the urging of my friend Stella Price to own my age proudly, I got a family dinner at Olive Garden with almost everyone there. I was missing my friends, my great-grandmother (the ORHB which I will define eventually) and my cousin, but having the rest of the family around the table was an accomplishment in and of itself and it was beautiful to see. I sat at one end of the table and almost cried when I looked down the length of it and saw my family there. People were still asking me what I wanted for my birthday. I don’t know why it’s so hard for everyone to understand that the family dinner is honestly all I wanted. Do I normally come off as that materialistic that they can’t believe all I want is to spend a little time with them? I’m actually very easy to please.

Granted there are “things” that I want, but I can buy those myself with time and my income taxes. I don’t need my family to buy them for me. The whole last half of the week was perfect to me. I spent Thanksgiving AM at Oscar’s restaurant with Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Grandmother, Grandfather, Sister, inevitable Brother-in-law, Uncle from out of town and LM. Granted it was 8AM on a holiday, but it was lovely and I enjoyed every second of it. We went over to Grandmother’s house later where we played Mexican Train Dominoes until it was time to go to Hunan’s Chinese Restaurant for lunch. We met two couples who are long-time friends of my grandparents there and we ate together. I know it sounds weird to have Chinese food for Thanksgiving, but it’s not the first time we’ve done it and since Aunt and Uncle were taking Great-Grandmother to Uncle’s parents for Thanksgiving, Grandmother’s kitchen is still a demo zone and there’s no way in hell I’m about to cook for all those people it was a great alternative. Then we went back to Grandmother’s house and played MORE Mexican Train Dominoes until it was time to go to Friend’s parent’s house and eat yet again…also taking home left-overs…hehehehe! My friend makes THE BEST homemade a gratin potatoes!

I finally got home and rolled myself and LM into bed. Friday was lllllaaaaaaazzzzzzyyyyyy and lovely. I didn’t bother getting up for Black Friday. I checked the papers Thanksgiving Day and didn’t see anything worth getting up for. I stayed in bed all day long until it was time to go to dinner that night! (Well I did get up to feed LM, but got straight back into bed when I was done! LOL!) We all went to Olive Garden! I love their salads….

After that I went to the movies with my sister, nieces and LM. We saw Planet 51. Not the best movie, but the kids loved it. Got home at midnight. Got up Saturday, sent LM off with Grandfather, met Grandmother for breakfast, went back to her house to play a few rounds of Mexican Train Dominoes with Grandmother, Grandfather, Uncle from out of town and LM until Sister arrived with Nieces. We went book shopping at my favorite used book store, Hawsey’s! I got this old cookbook that thrills me and an idea that has been growing all day.

I plan to start the hardcore diet again tomorrow. Due to my history with kidney stones, I will have to have my blood drawn every two weeks to make sure my body isn’t storing the protein in high levels, but it should be ok. It’s going to be hard but now that I have my doctor on board, I don’t have any more excuses.

I also still need to deal with my mother’s death and my shitty relationship with her. I need to work on my self and my life as it relates to other people. I need to loose weight, de-clutter my house and my life, and finish that last tiny bit of college I found out I still have to do. Seems I have a lot on my plate right? So I was thinking, why not write about it? Like a diary of sorts, chic-lit at its finest! Because as it turns out, I need to de-clutter my brain as well.

This cookbook was written in the 1960’s and is basically a house-wife’s guide to being a good hostess. Anyone else see how irrelevant that is now? Well, it might be, but maybe I can put a modern twist on it, and add in my life as I change it. See, I want to be more lady-like, or more accurately, what I perceive as being lady-like in the modern age. Which is actually what led me to the working title: “Ladymorphesis: The Journey of a hot mess into Lady-hood”.

Opinions anyone?

Kisses, Hugs and Spanx,
Luci

Just signing up my new blackberry for my blog

I hope this works..this phone has provn to be smarter than I am...but never fear, I will prevail...eventually...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Luci the RT Virgin...

This was my first year to attend RT. When I registered I saw that they labeled me an RT Virgin. I kinda liked this title. I haven’t been considered any kind of virgin in a long time so it was novel to me and I enjoyed telling everyone about it. I must say here I should thank my co-workers for not killing me in the months leading up to RT. They have much patience and understanding. And I was so excited I couldn’t stop talking about it. You know when you were young, you talked NON-STOP about your first boy-friend or girl-friend? It was always “ Jackson said…”, “ Jackson did…” or “ Jackson thinks…” 24 hours a day. To the point that your friends and family secretly prayed you’d break-up. That’s how I was about RT in the months leading up to it.

I need to send out a special thanks to Stella Price, who patiently answered every single question I asked her about RT…and probably about 5 times each because I kept either forgetting what she told me or loosing the paper I’d written it on. I also need to send out a special thanks to Adra Steia/Ash Rowland, who shared my frantic text messages in the month leading up to RT. Seriously, she deserves some props because I was sending out things like “only 15 days left! Totally freakin’ dude! Totally…” and five minutes later it was “omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg…” They both deserve some serious props for putting up with me. And last but not least, I need to thank Kayleigh Jamison, Stella and Adra for not leaving me to deal with my own mess while I constantly changed the room reservations. I’ll explain later.

I need to bow down and worship Cara North for giving me the opportunity to represent Tease Publishing, LLC. It was such an honor!

Let’s get down to business, shall we? Here are my suggestions, based on my RT Virgin experience.

1. This one is in three parts:
Don’t make reservations for more than yourself and maybe one friend.
Don’t try to save money by staying at another hotel, no matter how “close” it might be to the actual convention or how cheap the price might be.
Don’t make reservations too early.

I made several mistakes here. I made reservations at the Doubletree Hotel in August of 2008. I reserved 3 rooms for 4 nights, 4/23-4/26, thinking we wouldn’t be there the first night of the convention. I was wrong. Since I was representing Tease as an editor, I needed to be there the first night, 4/22, and I couldn’t add an extra day to my existing reservation, and by the time I discovered this, it was November and they didn’t have any space for extra reservations. So I made a reservation at the Holiday Inn, which I didn’t know was literally right next-door to the Doubletree, for 4/22 for 2 rooms.

I thought, hey, I can’t be the only person who wants to save money. Everyone will want in on this deal! Well, I was wrong. Most people already knew what I had to learn. So I had to make sure that I had people to share the hotel rooms so I wasn’t left paying for all three. I literally stressed over this ALL YEAR LONG! Stella was my connection to anyone who might be going to RT, so I must have bugged her at least once per week about who was going, who wasn’t going and did we need to change the reservations again? She handled me as best she could, but every time I thought about those hotel rooms, I swear I had a mini panic-attack! Then, about a month before RT, I found out that two of our group couldn’t come. That means I needed to decrease our reservations. Well, the Doubletree said I couldn’t change anything, all I could do was cancel. There was no way I could ask my friends to suck-up the cost of the extra room, and I certainly couldn’t do it. So I canceled those reservations and made another reservation at the Holiday Inn for the 4/23-4/26, but I only got it for one room, because I’m a stressed-out moron and thought we’d be ok with 4 people in one room. Stella, thankfully, convinced me otherwise, so I canceled THOSE reservations and got another one for the same time period but for 2 rooms instead. The reservations were fabulously cheap! Literally a FRACTION of the cost we would have paid for the Doubletree. It worked out to about $125 per person for 5 days. So I was feeling like a thrifty bargain shopper, but in the meantime, I had dealt with 9 months of stress over hotel reservations AND transferred that stress to my friends. And in the end, it was all for nothing. We showed up and got a good look at the Holiday Inn…and were NOT impressed. For the price we paid, we weren’t expecting anything like the Four Seasons, but we didn’t expect it to be as bad as it was. The rooms were humid for no reason we could figure out and the air conditioners didn’t help with that. There was mold EVERYWHERE! It was in the light fixtures, inside the picture frames…everywhere! We had trouble getting into our rooms almost every day, until the building engineer finally advised us that we were pushing the lever-based door handle down in stead of up. Now seriously, who the hell sees a door lever and pushes it UP instead of DOWN?!?! And it took the man 3 days to actually tell us that! It was awful! On top of that, getting to and from the convention was literally a pain in the ass. It wasn’t far and if I didn’t have such a horrible sense of direction, it wouldn’t have been confusing, but the convention itself is fast-paced and it meant leaving to go take a shower before the nights’ events was either really intrusive to the schedule or just flat-out impossible. Also, parking at the Wyndham was a nightmare! It’s not a multi-floor hotel. Nothing on the property is more than 2 stories high and they have over 1,000 rooms, so it’s spread out over a large area of land. You had to walk forever to get to anything. It was a serious workout just to get to the pool bar. And all of that walking was done outside. The grounds were gorgeous, but all that walking made you sweaty. So having an hour or two to take a shower and get ready for the balls at night was essential. But after walking around all day long all over the place, we either had to miss something to get back to the hotel or just forego the shower completely. So literally, staying at a hotel other than the one the convention was in was nothing more than a giant inconvenience. By the end I was wishing I had forked out the extra money to stay at the Wyndham, just so I might have had a chance to rest in my room before events and maybe take a shower...it would have been worth the extra cash.

2. Take the time to read over the schedule of events they hand you when you check-in at the convention.



I thought I was too busy to do so. I checked in and then ran to our hotel. Because the reservations were in my name, I had to make sure I checked in so that when everyone else got there, they’d be able to actually dump their stuff in the rooms before heading over to the convention. I took the bag they gave me when I checked-in and just left it at the hotel, never even opened it until maybe the 3rd day. They had a schedule of events complete with the rooms they were in…and because I didn’t read it, I felt kinda lost the whole time I was there. I was either just following along behind other people or frantically trying to figure out where the seminar I wanted to attend was located. When I checked in, I saw people lounging around the Wyndham going through their goody bags, and wrote it off as they just didn’t have anything better to do. I was SO WRONG! LOL!

3. Don’t try to haul too much around with you.



I filled my trusty back-pack with all the things I thought essential. Including make-up, nutra-grain bars, bottled water and my laptop, along with quite a few other things. I thought this was very important, but within the first hour I was dying from the sheer weight of the bag. Laptops are heavier than you think and in the end, I didn’t even get to use mine. People took time to stop and maybe blog a little. They were all over the lobby, trying to take advantage of the Wi-Fi (which I heard only worked half the time), but they never took long and I imagine most were in the same predicament I was in lugging that weight around. Don’t get me wrong. It’s worth it to carry a bag around, even if you’re staying in the convention hotel, to gather the swag you get at practically every event and seminar, but a simple shoulder bag would be fine and in fact most people just used the bag they got at check-in and it was perfect. Just be prepared to REALLY downsize what you think of as “essential”. Because trust me, after hauling it around all day, you’ll change your mind.

4. Don’t waste time being shy or nervous.



I am not an out-going people person. Well, not in-person anyway. Not normally. In fact, without my meds, I have a serious issue with crowds. But I had my medicine which made me feel ready to deal. It wasn’t as crowded this year as it was in past years, so there wasn’t the HUGE crowds I was expecting to deal with. But...I still spent the first day firmly attached to my friends like a love-sick puppy. I was DYING to meet everyone around me, but I was so nervous…and it showed. The first day we were there, we manned the publisher table, which we decked out with Tease and author swag and handed out to everyone who came by. I got a little distressed because people were looking at me like I was some sort of gargoyle hovering over the table. It took me a while to realize that my stress and uncertainty was showing. This made me even more self-conscious and I took to hiding behind my friends and letting them do all the public hand pumping and meeting and greeting. I felt lost and left out, but I didn’t know how to change it. That feeling didn’t leave me. It stuck with me even to the ball that night, the EC Jungle themed ball. First, we went back to the hotel to shower and change and were late getting to the ball, which meant we didn’t get a table or dinner and had to stand. That sucked. Stupid me, I wore my pretty shoes and took them off almost immediately. Literally, I walked out of our hotel wearing them and by the time we got out of the car at the Wyndham, I had decided that I had been on my feet all day and they hurt like hell and there was NO WAY I was going to wear my pretty shoes (which naturally kill my feet) for one more second. I walked across the parking lot barefoot and stayed that way for the rest of the night. I did take a picture of my pretty shoes, sitting on the table…where they stayed all night long. We got into the ball, found a cocktail table with no chairs to gather around and then we just kinda stayed there. Stella and Adra knew people so they were mingling, but Kayleigh and I didn’t know anyone and we stuck to the table. In fact, the first new RT friend I made had to actually come up to me to make my acquaintance. That was Stacy Loucks, who is the most awesome person and now someone I can’t imagine NOT knowing! It took meeting her and realizing that I had wasted a whole day being nervous to break me out of my shell. The other 4 days I didn’t waste anymore time. I introduced myself to just about everyone who crossed my path. I got cards and email addresses like you wouldn’t believe! In fact, I still have a pile of them on my desk. I need to go through them and send out emails…which I will do as soon as I’m done writing this.

5. Don’t over-think your costumes.



I was seriously worried about them and in the end, it didn’t matter what you wore. There were a few people who dressed to the 9’s for the costume contests, but for the most part, people just wore whatever they wanted. There were people wearing jeans and people wearing full-on ball gowns. After all, where else are you going to wear them if you have them? Just go to have fun, wear what you want and leave the stress at home.

6. Do be prepared to wait in line…a lot. In fact try to be 30 minutes early to just about everything.



There might not have been as many people there this year as in past years, but it still paid to be the first in line for stuff. Didn’t matter what you were lining up for, the first people in line got the best, whether it be seats, a view or swag. It paid to be early.

7. Don’t be afraid of the cover models. But don’t attack them either.



I’d heard all the horror stories, about the cads who mauled women and were total assholes, thinking they could do whatever they wanted and we’d worship the ground they walked on. Based on other people’s opinions, I didn’t even dare approach any of them until Friday. For one thing, having that many gorgeous men wandering around acting like they wanted to know me was intimidating to me. I mean seriously, in my normal every-day life, I don’t even get within a mile of guys like that and here they were shaking hands and flirting with everyone. It made me nervous and self-conscious all over again as well as initially given credence to the horror stories. But it wasn’t until Friday night, attending Deidre Knight’s Spartan party that I actually got to meet my first one. And it happened pretty much against my will. I was sitting in the back with Kayliegh and Stacy, cringing while watching the game of musical laps that was going on in the front of the room. Stella and Adra were mingling with all the other authors and readers, and we were just…witnessing, which was about all we had the energy to do by that point as it was around 1 or 2 am. Franco D’Angelo came over to us. Kay and I were immediately on our guard, but Stacy, who had met him on Wednesday night, was totally relaxed and friendly. He responded to Kayliegh and I the way we responded to him, but he was friendly to Stacy. It took me all of 2 minutes to figure out that he was probably almost as guarded of us as we were of him. I relaxed, he relaxed. It was so elementary! I felt so dumb for taking the preconceived notions I had so seriously! Don’t get me wrong. The experiences and opinions of others are important information. But just because they had a bad experience, or in most cases, knew someone who knew someone who had a bad experience, doesn’t mean you will too. And, to be quite honest, think of what they have to do. They have to campaign for your vote. Some of them might take things a little too far…and yes I met some like that, but not all of them are smarmy bastards. Some of them are just people…and pretty cool, laid-back people at that. Almost all of them walk into the competition not knowing ANYONE there, and whether they are people-oriented or not, their job is to make you want to vote for them. This year’s Mr. Romance, Charles Paz, won by being sexy, which took no effort on his part, and personable without being slimy about it, which is where the effort came in. I got an interview with him and you should read it. He’s just a guy…like any other guy. He’s a little shy, but totally willing to introduce himself to anyone, no matter the risk he runs of getting totally shut-down, which actually happened, unfortunately. There are many women who walk into the convention on the defensive. The common understanding is to assume these men are disgusting and smarmy until they prove otherwise, and that’s assuming you even give them the chance. On the other hand, there are the women who seem to attend assuming it’s their right to paw these men as much as they want and demand whatever they want of them, all in the name of earning their vote. Some of the guys are willing to go to any extent, and it shows. Some are constantly on the defensive, which also shows. My advice, for what it’s worth, is to let them approach you, don’t take anything they say too seriously or personally, and just enjoy getting to know yet another new person at RT. It’s all in good fun and these men are there to advance their careers just like any other author or publisher. Just let them do their jobs and you’ll have the advantage of getting to spend time with men more handsome than what you might be used to. After all, who DOESN’T love some good eye-candy? LOL!

8. Don’t be afraid to attend seminars you might not initially think would interest you.



I signed up to attend a private photo shoot for a cover despite the fact that at that point I’d heard that you didn’t want to be within ten feet of a cover model and covers aren’t really my thing as I’m not a published author and have no real plans to change that. I don’t really know why I signed up for it. I just did. And I’m SO glad I did! It worked out that when this particular event happened, most of my friends where either occupied or resting, but by this time I’d missed most of the seminars I’d actually wanted to attend and didn’t want to waste my last two days by ditching yet another event, another chance to experience new things. So I went and learned a LOT! It was really fascinating! There was a voyeuristic feel for the bedroom scenes, but the cover-models were amazingly professional about it once the shot was done and they just moved on to the next shot. Plus, I got to spend some time with some of the other people I met at RT while I was there and it was nice to just experience it all. Everyone involved, from the photographer to the models, was TOTALLY nice and willing to answer any question. And I do mean ANY question, because some of them got a little personal. They were there to de-mystify the photo shoot and it worked.

9. Visit promo row once per day.



I went a little overboard, trying to fit in as much as possible to every day. This led to me taking one MASSIVE trip down promo row, gathering at least one thing from every author/spot. Stella advised me later that they put different stuff out every day, sometimes more often than that, and they always save the best for the last day. So I walked away with two bags full of business cards, bookmarks and other goodies, but I could have gotten more. Promo row is your chance to get introduced to authors you might not know of, or might not consider picking up under normal circumstances. Not to mention, getting stuff for free just flat-out rocks! LOL!

10. No matter what anyone says, don’t drink too much.



As a single mother, I don’t get to go out much anymore. As a result, I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to, so I’m a light-weight now. I had heard that everyone gets drunk at the Vampire ball, so even though Stella and Adra told me they weren’t going to get smashed and maybe I shouldn’t either, I was determined to get drunk. I wanted to experience everything remember? Well I did and I don’t think I’ve regretted anything so much the next morning. The one thing I didn’t think about was that I’m not 21 anymore. Hangovers freakin’ HURT now. I totally understood the drive to get smashed at the vamp ball. The entertainment is…wow. Heather Graham hosted what is apparently her yearly campy B-grade horror movie/musical. She’s actually an excellent singer and so is everyone else in her family (that woman is like the mafia-don of the romance world. She has a gazillion relatives and they all seem to be strategically placed and insanely talented. It’s scary. Much respect to ya Ms. Graham!) The entertainment was exactly as it was intended to be, more amusing than anything else. But it IS as long as everyone says it is and let’s face it, by 10pm after a long day, your attention span is pretty much shot. So getting drunk was an excellent distraction. I didn’t do anything truly embarrassing, like hit on anyone or try to sing…but that hangover sucked in more ways than I care to think about. I drank my quota for the year. I won’t be doing that next year. I’m too old for that kind of drinking and I missed a full half of the next day, trying to convince myself that I was not dying long enough to get out of bed and get back to the Wyndham. Besides, the drinks were astronomically expensive and watered down by a ton of ice. So it cost me a small fortune just to get drunk, just to have a horrid hangover from hell the next day, just to miss out on more RT experiences. Definitely not doing that again.

Well, there they are, my suggestions for RT Virgins and more experienced RT attendees. Other than all of that, I got a huge pile of free books and bought a few at the book fair. I met a ton of people and had a blast. In fact, I’m still riding a wave of euphoria from it all. It was so much fun! RT is without a doubt the most expensive convention in our industry, but I think everyone should go at least once in their lifetime. It’s an experience you don’t want to miss! And I sincerely hope to see all of you there next year!

Now, weren't my shoes pretty? LOL!

Kisses, Hugs and Spanx,

Luci

Letter from Human Resources

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of “TRY SAYING” new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.

TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won’t work.

TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I’m not on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Luci's Interview with Mr. Romance 2009, Charles Paz!

This is the interview I got with the wonderful, amazing, funny, and totally OMG HAWT Mr. Romance 2009, Charles Paz. If you're not at least half in love with him by the time you get done reading, you need to check your pulse!

He was very truthful and incredibly patient as I shamelessly dragged this interview out into more than 70 questions! But the best part is...he's a bigger flirt than I am!

Enjoy ladies!


Luci: If we could do this interview in person and you chose the place, where would we be?

Charles: On the beach in Acapulco with the waiters constantly bringing us drinks. Hee hee hee

Luci: OMG! Is that an evil laugh I hear? LOL! What exactly would that laugh be for?

Charles: Well, we did that Q&A with your crazy ladies at the convention, and if I remember, I had to take a drink before every answer. I was feelin wuvwy afterwards =-)


Luci: I did some research on body building. It comes from a very long history of body modification. How did you get into it?

Charles: Well, I always worked out. Then I would go at eat fast food. I was the chubby guy of the group of friends that I worked out with. I got tired of it and decided the best way to buckle down and get in shape is to commit to a bodybuilding show. 4 months later, I went from 280lbs to 204 on stage. I took 5th at that show which was the Sacramento NPC show in November of 2007. I came back to the July show in 2008 and took 2nd in my class.

Luci: Yeah I think I found some pictures of you online in one of those competitions. You looked kinda skinny…but that’s just my personal opinion! LOL!

Charles: Stefan wasn’t the only guy from the competition who used to be a chunky monkey. I used to weigh nearly 300 lbs!!! My friends nick-named me “turtle” just like the guy from the HBO series “Entourage”. I see myself more like Vincent Chase now.

Luci: Mmmmm…No, better. Much better! LOL!

Charles: AWWWWW!!! Look at you scorin cool points for no reason.=-P


Luci: Now that you’ve won Mr. Romance 2009 (CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Will you continue with the body building or just stick with modeling?

Charles: I’ll do both. Just won’t be a MASS-MONSTER, but will stay in shape. I'll do more of a "Men’s Health" magazine rather than a FLEX magazine cover, ya know?

Luci: Ok so less bulky, more lean muscle. You know we women go nuts for lean muscle! *waggles eyebrows* LOL!

Charles: Don’t worry, there will still be more of me to get your hands on.

Luci: Good, because I plan on testing that when I get to RT next year! And I know I’m not the only one! LOL!

Charles: There you go teasin me again. HaHaHa we will see exactly where those hands will be going Hmmmm…..

L: *Speechless...AGAIN!*


L: How did you get into modeling?

C: After my show, someone asked me if I got my pictures taken. They told me I was in the best shape of my life and I needed to document it. They told me about ModelMayhem.com and how photographers will take your pictures and not charge you and stuff. The rest is history. I networked and sold my self to all these people. I’m glad I did because I would just be another guy in the gym had I not heard about this website

L: Just another guy? Oh I don’t think so, but you’re half right because then you never would have met everyone you met at RT! LOL!

C: And I totally miss all of them!! I’d love to re-live that week for sure. Maybe do a few things different. Hee, hee hee!

L: Really? What would that be?

C: Oh my goodness!!!! I could be soooooooo bad right now and we know it. I keed I keed!! Maybe not talk to a certain *cough cough* author *cough* HaHaHa. I probably would have stayed out a little later than usual. I did go to bed at a descent time while I was there, but I should have stayed out and ‘mingled’ a little more with people. I also wish I would have met a few people at the beginning of the week rather than the final day or two. Some of the coolest people I got to hang out, I didn’t get to met till the end. It was either because they haven’t been to an event that I was in or they had a certain “label” about me. You know, “Oh he’s a cover model” “He has no brain”; “He’s a jerk and a man-whore, etc. etc.” I wish that people would have been a little less prejudice about me because, and I know you can agree with me, I’m not like your previous models. Even Pat Simmons daughter, Simi, said that we were probably the coolest group of guys that has ever been at the convention. I’ve heard the stories of how arrogant and cocky the other guys have been. I would truly hope that after this event, people at least give the new batch of guys a chance to make an ass out of themselves before they label them assholes. The only reason I didn’t talk to somebody at this convention, was because they were already engages in conversation with the other contestants and I didn’t want to butt in and be rude. I met a few girls at the end who said they didn’t like me because I didn’t talk to them all week. I was shocked, but explained my theory and policy for approaching people. They were also sitting with two other contestants who they liked a lot. After I explained, and apologized, they saw where I was coming from and understood. And we actually danced a few songs later on that final night. Just goes to show you the trype of guy that I truly am. Some people said I didn’t need to “kiss-ass” and apologize, but, I wanted to right a wrong and let these ladies know that there was a small mistake and I’m not that kind of guy. That’s who I really am. I know people go around with a “I don’t care what people think about me” attitude. I know I’m not gonna please everyone, but I do care what people say about me. And that is why I always conduct myself in a respectable manner. You never know who will be watching you. If you were sitting alone and I saw that, rest assured you wouldn’t be alone for too long (sorry this response is kinda long, it just brought up a few memories I thought you should know).

L: Totally understand. It's a well-known mindset and you deserved to have your say about it.


L: What is your nickname and what name do you prefer to go by?

C: The MAIN MAN. That’s what I love people to call me. It just flows off the tongue just right. Plus, it just sounds cool for people to say, "Oh, I met the MAIN MAN, or I just shot with THE MAIN MAN". When you hear people say it, you now there is only one. There are plenty of Charles, but only one MAIN MAN =-) Plus, its something different than the norm. It gets you noticed and strikes curiosity in the people when you say it.

L: Do you realize how absolutely impossible it is to say that with a straight face? LOL! But then, anyone who thinks of you can’t help but smile, right? So I guess that’s just par for the course! LOL!


L: What do your peers in modeling and body building think of you competing for Mr. Romance?

C: My bodybuilding friends think it is very awesome and are the most supportive group of guys you can meet. 3 of them are actually competing this weekend for a body building competition in Hayward. I’m glad I made it back in time to help them with their final week of prep. It’s a very hard thing to do but the support of others around, helps make it worth it. I will start my prep in a few weeks. I plan on competing again at the Sacramento NPC show in the beginning of November. I will look way better this time around as it will be my 3rd show. You only get better with each and every show you do.

L: You have got to give us the dates for that. You’ll have a bunch of cheerleaders online and elsewhere.

C: HaHaHaHa!!! I would love to have some those “cheerleaders” help me put my posing oil on before I step on stage…..Any takers? Hmmmmm?


L: Will you be going to Columbus for RT Con 2010?

C: YES!! And I am very excited for that. Can’t wait to see everybody again.

L: I know! I’m excited too! I think I might spend the whole year planning it too! LOL! So will you have any official role next year?

C: Ya know what? I would love to show up a few days early and help out in any way with the convention people. Meeting the contestants and easing their nerves. Maybe do a workshop or 5! I would want to be involved in every and any way that I can. I’m not a superstar, or anything special. But I’d love to raffle off my time for lunches or breakfasts and have the proceeds go to a charity. Ya know? One on one time with these wonderful people and having the money going to a great cause. Doing the S.O.S. shoots during the week was truly an awesome thing to do. We actually had two veterans come by and get their picture taken with us. I know I might sound lame, but I did get goose bumps and a little misty-eyed when they showed up because I might play a hero for a book, but those guys are the “true heroes” in my book.

L: It doesn’t sound lame at all. I LOVE the idea of raffling off your breakfast and lunch dates! What charity did you have in mind?

C: Ya know, when it comes to charities, you seem to notice that the ones that are put together by famous people, are because it is as a tragedy that happened in their life. Personally, I would like to sponsor a charity that isn’t as high profiled as others are. I definitely would do the S.O.S. fundraiser again, without a doubt, because it is something that I really enjoyed doing during the event. It was just a picture, but the money made was going to a great cause and I’m very proud to be apart of it. I do believe that we should not only support our soldiers, but support the veterans of the wars as well. My grandfather served in the Air Force and fought in three major wars in his lifetime. Although I haven’t served my country, I highly respect those that do and pray for them and their families.


L: Favorite Liquor?

C: Grey Goose Vodka. Or if its drinks then Vodka Red Bull or Long Islands. You can never go wrong with shots of PATRON though =-)

L: *scribbles furiously in a notebook* LOL!

C: Hmmm…What are you writing over there?

L: Oh you will just have to wait for next year to find out! LOL!


L: Favorite Beverage?

C: Water with Crystal Light

L: Are you serious? Ick! Sorry, can’t agree with you there, but then my southern-self prefers sweet tea.


L: Favorite Color?

C: Green


L: Age?

C: 29, I don’t need to lie.

L: Lie? Who said anything about lyin’? LOL! You’re too cute to be younger than me! It’s not fair! LOL!


L: Sexual Preference?

C: Women and only Women!!! HaHaHaHa


L: Sexual position?

C: What ever position makes the woman moan loudest. I’m a giver. Making sure the woman is being pleased is what matters most to me when it comes to making love.

L: *fans self*

C: Here, let me help you. *Pulls branch from nearby palm tree and starts fanning with one hand and feeing drink with the other*

L: Hmmm…*giggle* Such a talented man! I think I really like this interview! LOL!

C: Well, there is one other position that I love doing. I don’t want to get toooo graphic, because I want to keep this PG-13, but let me say just this, there is a YouTube video of me military pressing 200 LBS over my head verily easily...... I’ll let you use your imagination and guess what else I can do in the bedroom. =-)

L: *Speechless*


L: When’s your birthday?

C: April 3rd

L: YAHOO! I get to send you a birthday present before next RT! Gonna have to think up something really good….hmmm…LOL!

C: Psshh!! You can just give it to me (in my room) when I see you at the convention next year! *evil hee, hee, hee*

L: Oh! Well, it’d be rude to refuse an invitation like that, now wouldn’t it? And I wasn’t raised to be rude! LOL!


L: Are you single?

C: Single and ready to Mingle. HAHAHA

L: Oh ladies…we’re all in trouble now! LOL!

C: Oh my!! I wish I was the one getting in trouble to be honest. So all of you beautiful women are welcome to get some trouble.

L: Wow, what an invitation…


L: Got Kids?

C: Well, my niece and 3 nephews are my kids. I love them more than anything else. And in about two more months, you can add another niece and nephew to my credits. I love being an Uncle.

L: Aw!!


L: Want Kids?

C: I’m happy with the ones I have. I’ll let time decide for me if I will have some.. Many people tell me I would make a perfect dad, I just need to find the perfect mom for my kids then I guess.

L: You know, that is so unbelievably sexy. And not just because I’m a mom. You know…someone needs to clone you and hand one out to every single woman in the world. We’d be ecstatic! LOL!

C: Hahahaha. Sometimes one of me is more than enough. But I have had women take hair and skin samples for some strange reason. *scratches head*


L: Do believe in soulmates?

C: Sigh.....Yes


L: What do you think would be the perfect job for you? The job of your dreams?

C: Perfect job would be a bouncer at a STRIP CLUB!!!! OOWWW BAY-BAY!!! HAHAHAHA J/K Seriously, I’d love to own my own Gym and fitness facility. It’s a place I will never be bored at and will always want to go work at.

L: See, I’d go, but I’d be too distracted by a trainer as adorable as you! LOL!

C: Stick with me, I’ll make you burn some calories!! Oooowwwww Baaaaay-Baaaaayyy!!!

L: Wooh…um…really? Cause let’s face it, I could stand to loose a few pounds. And if you’re gonna be “working” on me…I don’t think exercise would seem quite as horrible as it has in the past! LOL! Actually have you thought of doing an exercise video? LOL! I’d be happy to place my order now!

C: I’m going to be doing a show. Within the next few months, I will be taking short video of me in the gym and posting them on YouTube. Ya Know; just so you guys can watch and see Mr. Romance in action. I’m not popular enough to have my own workout DVD, but I have been propositioned to make a few home movies and they weren’t for working out in the gym. *Scratches Head Again*


L: What was your favorite experience from RT this year?

C: Too many to describe in detail. But I would say that every chance I got to sit down and talk one on one with people, or with small groups of people would have to be first. There are very awesome people and getting to just chat with them a few minutes or hangin out with them at the pool was very cool in my book. Also, the Spartan Musical Chairs was a personal fave. I mean, I don’t get women throwin themselves at me like that...EVER!! I took full advantage of that night and if you didn’t see it, then you really missed out. I had the biggest smile on my face and think I enjoyed it too much, if that is possible.

L: Yeah…I saw that. I was sitting in the back of the room, suffering from exhaustion and waiting for someone to get injured with all those women bouncing on laps…

C: Getting injured was the last thing on my mind. When is having women throwing themselves at me and bouncing into my lap a bad thing? Ever? Hahaha! I could have played that game all night, or even taken it back to the *cough hotel room cough* Ugh, scuse me. Little something in my throat.

L: Really?!?! If I’d known that was an option, I’d have played! LOL! But is sounds like you’re not used to a great deal of attention from the ladies? How on earth can that be?

C: You should have played, but then we would have lost for cheating because I would just grab you and hold ya for the whole song. And I have Nooooo idea why women don’t throw themselves at me like they did that night. I guess it does help to keep me outta trouble. *SIGH*


L: Least favorite?

C: Leaving. It was like waking up from a dream. I was having too much fun but packing my stuff was my least favorite moment.

L: AAWWWWWWW! We miss u too! *sniff* But we will be back together next year leaving a swathe of mischief and mayhem in our wake! LOL!

C: Hee, hee hee!

L: Does that mean you’ll agree to be my partner in crime next year? LOL! I bet we could play a few good pranks!

C: Partner in Crime???? Girl, we gonna be next years Bonnie and Clyde for sure!!!


L: Why did you compete for the Mr. Romance title?

C: Annette Batista found me and told me about this. I give her all the credit in the world for what I have done with this. She saw me and believed in me with all my potential. She discovered me back in Sept 08 from Model Mayhem. I finally came to Tampa in Feb to shoot for the centerfold ad in Romantic Times Magazine and after the shoot, I met the organizers of the show. They told me all about this and I wanted to be a part of it. The two months leading up to the convention, I was looking online and doing research to see what I was getting myself into. It looked like such a blast. The rest is history.


L: My favorite place to be, the thing that gives me total peace, is in the dead of winter in my backyard.. There is just no sound, nothing there, like I have the whole world all to myself, and I find that really peaceful. What gives you peace?

C: Sitting on the beach. Watching the ocean and relaxing is very peaceful. But, Sitting on the beach with "My Kids" and hearing them laugh and having fun is what really brings a smile to my face. Throw in some deep-fried oreos and twinkies from the boardwalk in that equation and you have the blueprints of what HEAVEN is supposed to be like =-)

L: Dude…fried oreos? Like…*shudder* chemically altered sugar and cholesterol in a handy bite-size snack…wow. Must be a west coast thing. But my fave appetizers are fried pickles and jalapenos, so I guess I can’t say much huh? LOL!

C: Deep fried Twinkies, clam chowder in a bread bowl and salt water taffy are some of the best things Santa Cruz has to offer. Buuuutttt, I didn’t tell you about the “tuxedo apple”. Ok, picture this: green apple on a stick, you dipp the whole thing in caramel and let it dry. Then, you did about ¾ of it into while chocolate and let it dry. Then, you dip half of it in milk-chocolate and cover with nuts. Cut it up into slices, and that is exactly what they serve you in heaven while you are waiting in live to get in.


L: What really pisses you off?

C: Thieves and stuck-up people. I’m not above anyone else, and in the same respect, they are not above me. We are all equal. A title doesn’t make anyone more or less. And thieves because I hate the fact that everything you work hard for can be taken away in an instant by someone.


L: What gets you excited in the little kid kind of way?

C: Hmm, maybe the smell of a grill at a family BBQ. That’s the best way to describe it.

L: Oooohhhh! BBQ! Dammit, making me hungry here.

C: I’ll get the grill started.

L: What’s for dinner?

C: PSSHHH!!! We skippin dinner and going straight to dessert BAAAAYYYY-BAAAYYYY!!!! Guess what’s on the menu. =-)

L: *Speechless...AGAIN!*


L: What gets you excited in other ways?

C: GIGGADDY GIGGADDY!!! HAHAHA I’ll just let you find that out when I see you next time =-P

L: OMG! Is that a challenge? ‘Cause you just DON’T know who you’re dealing with here sugar! LOL!


L: Top or Bottom? And yes, I’m asking what you think I’m asking. But then, since you went to Castle in Tampa, you know better than most don’t you? LOL!

C: BEHIND!!! LOL! Top. Always. I like being in control and pleasing the woman I’m with. I can’t really do that laying down on my back right? Well, actually, I can.*giggles*

L: Damn it’s getting hot in here! LOL!

C: Hee, hee, hee! Let me help you cool off. *grabs piece of ice, put it in his mouth and slowly works the ice cube around your neck, mouth and chest area*

L: Oh, that’s it. You are SO getting attacked next year! LOL!


L: Give us your dimensions…

C: Uhm, I’m 5'8. 230lbs. 35 inch waist. 50 inch chest and biceps are 19 inches round.

L: GIDAMN! Yeah okay. You were a nice armful of man to hug…I remember that. I also think you might just have gotten the most body contact of all the guys there. Obviously a great deal of women at RT like a nice armful of man! LOL! So don’t slim down too much!

C: I’m a gentle teddy bear. There will always be something to grab onto with me. My butt is actually quite cushy, but wasn’t grabbed on as much. You ladies missed out on the moneymaker!

L: Ladies, having viewed said “moneymaker” I can say without any prejudice…he’s right! LOL!

C: HAHAHA You gonna post a link to that page for your lucky ladies???

L: If you insist! LOL! http://www.modelmayhem.com/pics.php?id=845377


L: Now care to give us your other dimensions?

C: My heart is the biggest part of my body. I know what you really want to know. Hee hee hee and I’m totally blushing. I don’t get any complaints about that either.

L: HEHEHEHE! Well played!

C: Checkmate!


L: Do you have tats and/or piercings? If so, what and where are they?

C: None.

L: Why not? Ok, you’re already hot, you don’t NEED them, but people do or don’t do these things for interesting reasons.

C: Eh, no idea. I’d love to do some temporary stuff and shoot with those. I’ve had some ideas for tats, but will wait until I become a photographer and stop modeling.

L: Really? When will that be and what were your ideas?

C: Only time will tell, but rest assured it will have something to do with my niece and nephews. And it will be over my heart.


L: Pets? What are they and names?

C: Sasha and Pancho. They are Dachshund Chihuahua mixed and the loudest dogs you will ever hear


L: If you had the life of your dreams and they made a movie about it, what would the theme song be?

C: Hmm. Not sure, but it would be sung by the Spanish rock band named MANA. Maybe BENDITA TU LUZ. It would be a song describing my wife and the happiness I have with her by just looking in her eyes. That or "Die without you" by PM DAWN

L: DUDE! PM DAWN!!!! Oh bringing back memories….

C: “Die Without You” will be my wedding song if that day ever comes. *Sheds tear*

L: Crap. I’m gonna have to strap myself down to keep from kidnapping you if you don’t stop being so damn perfect! LOL!


L: What has your life been like since you graduated from highschool?

C: Rollercoaster best describes it. But now, it’s like an elevator that doesn’t go down.

L: Here’s hoping you live in the penthouse for the rest of your life! Cheers!

C: *RAISES SHOT OF PATRON*


L: What do you expect your life to be like now that you’ve won Mr. Romance 2009?

C: Expect nothing, but everyday is something new. I’d hope that the "TITLE" does give me some credit and respect because I have worked hard to get to this point in my life. The sacrifices I have made to be where I am at today, well, I still think about them and sometimes regret, but still move forward.

L: See, it’s just not fair. You’re cute, sweet, funny and sexy already, but now you gotta go and add mysterious to the mix? Are you TRYING to be irresistible? Because it’s working! LOL!

C: Mysterious??? HaHaHa, now that’s really gonna get a lot of women wanting to know about me. I think I need to write an autobiography and just let everyone know the story of the MAIN MAN. It does make for some good reading.


L: What is your taste in music?

C: I listen to everything. Right now I’m listening to Spanish Rock, Techno, and Hip Hop while answering this interview. My own Youtube playlist mix. HAHAHA


L: Expand my music horizons. Recommend some music to me…

C: MANA. I don’t speak Spanish fluently, but the music and beats are truly addicting. After I hear the songs, I have a friend translate them and then it makes sense why I like them. Also, Shakira sings Spanish as well. If you haven’t heard her Spanish stuff, then I highly recommend it. Eminem’s new song "WE MADE YOU" is probably the most addicting song in my head. I have always loved PINK!!!!!! "Please don’t leave me" is the best song she has ever made. You can hear the realness and sadness in her voice as she sings. I highly recommend you watch that video as well. It’s her best work in my opinion.


L: If you could have a super power, what would it be and why?

C: PSSHH!!! I am the MAN OF STEEL! I don’t need anymore powers. LOL. I’d love to have Superman’s powers. Strength and flying and all the extra stuff would be cool.

L: Does that make me Lois Lane? LOL! JK! LOL!

C: Oh Please! We all know you’re Wonder Woman! She’s way hotter than Lois!

L: Hmmm…I think I like it! LOL! When I was little, I used to have Wonder Woman Underoos and I ruined my grandma’s favorite Christmas garland making a “lasso of truth”. Lord my butt burned from that spanking! LOL!

C: Looks like we can all blame G-ma for making you a kinky freak. After that spanking, it was on wasn’t it? =-P

L: Not tellin'! LOL!


L: Tell us what competing for Mr. Romance was like…what are the rules? When did you enter? Was there a lot of work involved…etc…

C: Competing was cool. We all got along and the guys were great. There weren’t really any rules except be on your best behavior and gentleman like. I was just being myself the entire time and that’s what won it for me. We rehearsed daily for 3 hours sometimes. If it wasn’t that, we were at events. We didn’t get much downtime if any. I only went to my hotel room to nap and take a shower. The rest of the time, I was out and about having a blast with all the cool ass people there


L: What’s your favorite holiday and why?

C: I love Thanksgiving. Food and Family is all you need. But we do that every Sunday.

L: So then what makes Thanksgiving special?

C: It’s not everyday we eat deep-fried turkey. Sundays are BBQ’s and spaghetti. Thanksgiving is extra special because of all the other things we cook that we normally don’t cook. It’s also one of the hardest times of the year for us, but we all stay together.

L: My family prefers a good Turducken. Ever had one? And why is it so hard for ya’ll?

C: HaHaHaHa The good ole Turducken. Yeah, I’ve had it twice. And as far as the hard times, well, I’ve only lost one person in my life that I love. It happened the day after Thanksgiving. I’ll try to keep it short. Day after Thanksgiving, me and my girl at the time were laying down. I get a knock on my door and my step-dad said my grandfather was in the hospital ‘Code Blue’. We got up and rushed to the hospital. I knew as soon as I walked in the place that he was gone. I couldn’t feel him there anymore. I didn’t get to see him. I walked into the waiting room with the rest of the family. When the doctor came in with the bad news, I saw some of the worst images in my life. My mother breaking down is one of the hardest things I have seen in my life. That was her Dad; and they were very close. My G-Ma was in shock and didn’t grasp it all yet. I had the hard job of going to get my brother from work and tell him. Seeing my mom cry was hard, but watching a 6’2 320LB gentle giant of a man that I call my brother cry is a close second.HaHaHa, I’m actually tearing up writing this. It was the hardest night of my life. I don’t even know what the actual date was, but I always associate Black Friday with my grandfather’s death. He helped raise us and was there any time my mother struggled. I didn’t cry or shed any tears. But when I was at the funeral, I balled like a newborn baby. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was strong the whole time for the family and they were ok, on that day, but it was my turn to let it out. I have never been so upset or sad in my life. I can only hpe that I am half the man he was so that I can see him again.

L: *Sniff*


L: What did you dress-up as last Halloween?

C: Ok, Picture this. Black slacks, white button up shirt with a tie. Hair combed to the side. But, underneath the white shirt was a Superman shirt. Add the reading glasses and open up the shirt and you have "Clark Kent" You can actually see the picture in my model mayhem page and I’ll send you a copy of it as well.

L: I LOVE that picture! LOL!

C: Man of Steel BAY-BAY!!


L: You know that embarrassing story that everyone’s mother just loves to tell? What is the one your mother tells about you?

C: Sigh....It’s a funny joke, but I was made from a broken condom. HaHaHaHaHaHa!!! I laugh every time I think about it. My siblings always make fun of me with that one. I’m the middle child. My older sister wasn’t planned. I was an accident and then my younger brother was a like "Oh well, let’s have a family" HaHaHaHa


L: Got any siblings?

C: Older sister and younger brother. We are all 3 years apart. Plus some step siblings.


L: What’s the highest level of education you finished?

C: High school. I did some college but it was hard to do at that time of my life

L: Gonna go back?

C: I might go back, but haven’t decided yet. I swear I have ADD and I’d rather do something that will keep me interested rather than try to do something I can’t do.

L: Don’t limit yourself sweetie. ADD or not, you’re smart enough to pull it off.


L: Where did you grow up?

C: I’ve lived in California my entire life. Nor-Cal area.


L: What hair style were you rockin’ in the 80’s?

C: OH GAWD!!! HAHAHAHA Mullet with lines on the sides of my head. I was Awesome!

L: Don’t worry, I had that side-ponytail mastered to an art form! LOL!

C: Soooo would have dated you then!


L: Favorite movie of all time?

C: Too many. But top three would be: Fools Rush In, Kingdom of Heaven, and Desperado/Once Upon a Time in Mexico.


L: When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

C: Happy. LOL. As far as a profession, I think maybe a firefighter. Saving people.


L: Are you grown-up yet?

C: Not at all

L: Good answer! LOL!


L: Do you cook?

C: Yes.

L: Will you cook for me? LOL!

C: For sure. I can cook anything you want. Just to warn ya, I’ll only be wearing an apron and a smile. Can you handle that?

L: Oh honey…I can try! LOL!


L: What is your favorite food?

C: Hee hee hee....Well, there are some things that I LOVE to "EAT", but food wise, I’d say Sushi or Hawaiian BBQ

L: Naughty, naughty boy! LOL!

C: Hee, hee hee…nothing wrong with all you can eat buffets right?? I always go back for more!

L: *making plans to snatch him the second he walks through the doors at RT 2010…who’s with me?*

C: HMMM.....I wonder what you are thinking right now? You got this look on your face like you are planning something. *Scratches Head*


L: What is your least favorite food?

C: Fish. Plain fish. I eat that a lot when dieting and it’s nasty.

L: Ew!

C: PSSSHH!! You have no idea…..


L: What was your favorite subject in high school and why?

C: Drama. I love acting. I’m an animated character.

L: Ok, which animated character are you most like?

C: People have called me “Johnny Bravo”, but when I say animated character, I see myself more like Jim Carey or the guy from that show “The Soup”.

L: You are SO not Johnny Bravo! LOL! You’re too irresistible to be him…maybe…hmm…gonna have to take a vote on this one. Ladies?


L: What was your least favorite subject in high school and why?

C: Maybe home economics/cooking. I wanted to be a chef, but the teacher was biased on her students and wanted to be 'cool' with the popular kids. I started my senior year with a goal to go to culinary school in SF, but after her class, I was really turned off by it. Ya, I know I shouldn’t let things like that stop my goals, but it just led me to another direction in my life.

L: OH! That BITCH! Should we tar and feather her for you? LOL!

C: No, I think she might like that. I know I do. Mmmmm…….

L: Oh really? *Luci gets an evil gleam in her eyes and makes plans for later on…hehehehe!*

C: There is something evil about the way you are looking at me now. I still wonder that you are thinking.


L: Some guys are gadget guys and some guys are car guys, some are outdoorsmen…what are you?

C: I’m a gym rat I guess. HAHAHA. I’m not good with gadgets or even how to change the oil in a car, but I can make you lose weight and get in shape.

L: LOL! HAHAHA! LOL! No comment. I could get in SO much trouble with that one but I’ll behave and leave it alone! LOL!

C: Oh no, no, no! Please by all means, come get in trouble!

L: I’ll get with you later then! LOL!


L: Tell me what the inside of your place looks like. Is it messy? Do you have art on the walls? What color is your couch and did you pick it out?

C: If you really want to know, you should come and see for yourself =-P.

L: Dude, you know what? You come visit me in Pensacola, FL, and I promise you, after that I will happily schlep my ass to the other side of the country for you in return! But I warn you, I’d be bringing friends with me, ‘cause they’d never believe me otherwise! LOL! I dare ya! LOL!

C: Hahaha! If I came to visit you, I might not leave. Plus, if you guys came here, you would fall in love with this place and stay as well. Make sure the friends you bring don’t mind sharing me. Taking care of them and making sure they are satisfied. I’m a giver and always treat my guests well.

L: Prepare yourself sugar. You’re about to have your very own harem! LOL!


L: When you’re hanging with your boys, what is your absolute favorite thing to do?

C: Sitting at a Sushi Bar and talking about Life. Or, training real hard at the gym in the morning and then going out to breakfast after. We don’t really go out to the clubs or anything like that, we are simple.

L: Sounds good to me! I’ll be moving to your town in about…a week sound good to you? LOL! I live in a military-fueled town. A little less loose testosterone and blood-pumping beats sounds really good. Plus it annoys me that most available men are between the ages of 18 and 22. The rest are either married or gay. So if you’ve got good single guys out there that are mildly attractive, I’m moving and bringing all my girls with me! LOL!

C: Let’s face it, finding people today is like finding parking spots at Wal-Mart. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. And as soon as you see an opening on one, somebody snatches it up right before your eyes. HAHAHAHA. But please bring allll your girls with you. They don’t need parking spots, I’ll give them ‘Valet’ Service. =-)


L: Tell me something about yourself that will just TOTALLY shock me. I hope you realize how hard that will be. Up to the challenge? LOL!

C: There was a time at the beginning of the year where I couldn’t get out of bed. The smile you saw on my face at the convention wasn’t on my face at the end of last year. I’ve come along way in the past 5 months. Trust me, it’s been a hard year for THE MAIN MAN.

L: AW! No way! It doesn’t show at all! You must feel like the last 12 months have been “the best of times and the worst of times”.

C: In love, heartbroken, depressed. Just a few words to describe it.


L: What was your most embarrassing moment so far in life?

C: Hmm, I really can’t say. I don’t get embarrassed that much. Awkwardness maybe, but not embarrassed. You saw an "AWKWARD" moment first hand when I was sincere and got rejected by an author who will remain nameless. It’s not embarrassing when that happens, but it does make me think, "did I do something wrong or offend them?" I try not to dwell on those moments, but I can’t help but think what did I do wrong. Meh, it happens.

L: Yeah. *stares at toes*. Sorry about that.

C: Hmmmm. Ya, Thanks for the set-up kiddo. It’s ok. I wish her nothing but happiness and success and would still do a cover for her anytime. I really wished she would have gotten a chance to know me a bit. I wasn’t gonna marry her, hit on her, nor ask her for a date or even a vote. I just wanted to introduce myself and be in the presence of someone who I thought was a genuine and cool person. It’s not the first time I’ve been made the fool. At the same time, I don’t let things like this hold me back from acting the way I do.


L: What has been the happiest moment of your life so far?

C: Happiest moment hasn’t happend yet. But hearing "BABY GIRL" say her first word and seeing her walk for the first time are two moments that stand out to me.

L: OMG, why the hell aren’t you hog tied to some lucky woman yet?

C: Hahaha! Me, hog-tied to some lucky woman? Thank for the visual. *sigh* Actually, I have no idea why I’m not “taken”. Maybe you and your readers can help me with that? *gives sad puppy-dog eyes and untucks bottom lip*

L: *commotion starts as the audience tries to swarm the bar as one giant mass of hungry women!* Back-off ladies! He’s mine! ...for the moment anyway! LOL!


L: What has been the saddest moment?

C: Leaving a piece of my heart in New Jersey at the end of last year. That is a WHOLE other interview and story to talk about. But It won’t come out unless I’ve had a bottle of Patron. It’s a very hard thing to talk about and still keeps me up at night when I think about it.

L: I know the feeling.

C: Then it looks like we need two bottles of Patron for this one sunshine.

*Luci leans way out of her chair* “Waiter? Excuse me! We need some liquor here!


L: Who is in your spank bank?

C: *Dies Laughing* WOW!!! That is hilarious! Um, well besides you, there are no others!

L: *blushes* Why, thank you honey! LOL!


L: Have you ever read a romance novel?

C: Nope.

L: If I send you one, will you read it and tell me what you think? (Don’t worry, I don’t write, so it won’t be mine.)

C: Yes I would.

L: There you go again, blindly agreeing to stuff. *shakes head* You just don’t know what you’re gonna get into! LOL!

C: Well, maybe that’s part of my evil plan. *grin*

L: Oh my…how intriguing! *evil half-smile peeks out*


L: Have you ever had your heart broken?

C: Sigh.....yes.

L: I curse her to the seventh ring of hell for it then. She was stupid. Feel better?

C: Oh come on! They are still very much loved. It’s ok. Like the Nelly Furtado song goes, “it’s back in God’s Hands”.

L: No, see now we’re all jealous! LOL!


L: In high-school, were you one of the cool kids or one of the dorks?

C: I wasn’t a "Popular Senior" I spent more time with the underclassmen and helping them out. It’s funny, I had more people looking up to me in high school then I had seniors who were friends. I’d rather have the respect from the classmates and faculty rather than a Mr. Popular title. Ya know?


L: In the Mr. Romance Competition, you said your man goal in life is to get married and have kids. Every woman in the room sighed. So tell us what your perfect life would be like.

C: HAHAHA Funny because I just did an interview with BETWEENYOURSHEETS.COM and I answered the same question. I’d love to fall in Love and get married. Be happy and start a family. Where I REALLY see myself in the future, is coming home from work hearing my Dog barking as I walk up and having my kids run out the door to hug "DADDY" as my Beautiful wife stands in the doorway with a smile on her face. That’s happiness, and that is what I really want in a perfect life. Make sense?

L: Seriously…why the hell are you single?

C: No idea dude!! We should do a contest. “Date Mr. Romance”! Actually, that sounds more like a reality show that you will see on VH1 so we will put that back on the drawing board.

L: Oh lord save us all from reality TV. You need a date, honey, just let me set you up. Granted you’ll have to wait until next RT because all of my available friends live…elsewhere. But…LOL!


L: Tell us what you saw as the top mistakes that the other Mr. Romance contestants made that left you in the position to win.

C: Hmm....I honestly can’t say what mistakes they made. I didn’t focus time on them. I was more focused on the people there and making sure they were having a great time while they were around me. When I did look up, I saw the other guys engaged in conversation and the people around them looked happy. I guess I would have to ask you, what was it I did to make me stand out more than the others? And that would be the answer =-). As far as the actual competition, I was myself and like I said, I am an animated character. I sold myself and I knew what I was doing. I wasn’t shy, and I knew how to work with what I got. I actually heard after the show, that I wasn’t one of the top picks at first because I was um, how do I saw this, "Bigger" than some of the other guys. They were afraid I wouldn’t be able to portray a character, but once they gave me the chance to show my potential, I’t was in the bag. I think that taking off my jacket during our walk down the runway sealed the deal. I told the model, Linda Hines, that was my plan and that will seal the deal. They other guys did the whole dip and pose thing, but after you heard the reaction from the crowd when I took off my Jacket, It was lights out game over =-)

L: It certainly was a hit! LOL!

C: Funny, because it was something I would do on a date anyways. I was just being myself.


L: You were walking around talking to hundreds of women even though it made you really nervous (which was just adorable btw). So how does a model manage to be shy talking to women?

C: It’s more of a fear of rejection. I’m one of the nicest and most sincere guys you can ever meet. I get nervous because I don’t like making people uncomfortable and stuff. That’s why I usually wait for them to come and talk to me. I can handle rejection fine, trust me I have had lots of practice. But it’s the feeling of did I do something wrong that bugs me. I am very shy still when it comes to talking to women, but after a few words, I can pretty much see where the conversation will be going and feel more at ease.

L: *shakes head and turns away grumbling about idiot women…*

C: HAHAHAHAHA Grumble, Grumble, Grumble.

L: When you’re in front of the camera lens, do you have any limits?

C: HAHAHAHAHA....You obviously haven’t seen my "NUDE" port yet have you?

L: No…is that an invitation? LOL! Better watch out you might replace my inspiration pic on my desktop! LOL!

C: I’ll send you the link later. Unless you’ve already found it. I must say, it’s very classy and artistic. You will enjoy. Think body builder with an Ansel Adams twist.

L: OMG, those pics are…very artistic…and HOT!!!!!!! Wow.

C: Glad you like what you see sunshine. Now don’t be greedy and share the love with your viewers. I’m actually proud of those short. It’s some of my best work and I think you can agree. I can’t do the full-frontals…..yet =-).

L: Oh I think you could...LOL! But ok here ya go ladies! http://www.modelmayhem.com/pics.php?id=845377


L: How ready are you for this interview to be over? LOL!

C: I’m actually ready for more questions. I’m thinking you are actually giving me a Job Interview and are gonna show this to a bunch of your single friends and hook me up with some of them aren’t ya? HAHAHA.

L: *slides the list of names next to notebook out of sight* I have no idea what you’re talking about… *blinks innocently* LOL!

C: Hey!! Bring that back over here!! *Tackles you and ties you up* See. I should have done this at the beginning of the interview. Now that this “job interview” is over, we will now do the “physical” part of the interview.

L: I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed an interview this much! LOL!


L: When I see you at RT next year, you better give me a hug! LOL!

C: PSSHH!! Don’t be surprised if I tackle ya in the lobby or steal your room key and surprise you back at your place =-P HEE HEE HEE.

L: Not if I get to you first! My nickname ain’t Tigger for nothin’! LOL!

C: Well, you know the wonderful thing about Tiggers!! XOXOXO


L: What are you afraid of or what scares you?

C: I’m not afraid of anything. HaHaHa. Yeah Right! Anyone who says they are not afraid of anything is full of it. We all have our fears. Mine is losing the ones I love most, which are my kids. I would be nothing without them. If I lost them, I don’t know what I would do. I wouldn’t be around for very uch longer. I would die form a broken heart. That’s my biggest fear. Losing my kids and losing my mom. My mom always assures me that everything will be alright. If I lose that, I lose myself.


L: I am a horribly light sleeper, which is why I sleep with a fan on high literally in my face. I bury myself under my warm quilts and turn on that fan and it's loud enough to drown out most background noise and constant enough for me to get used to so it doesn't keep me awake. How do you sleep?

C: I always sleep naked. Seriously. I toss and turn a lot and wearing clothes is a pain in the butt. I hate sleeping alone. I’m most comfortable when I’m not alone in bed. I remember being with my ex and sleeping in bed and being so comfortable and getting the best sleep I’ve ever had. If I woke up in the middle of the night, and she wasn’t near, I would pull her close to me, kiss her on the cheek and ‘spoon’ until I fell back asleep. Grabbing her and knowing she was near made me feel at ease. When she would grab me in the middle of the night and hold me, made me feel even better.

L: *making plans to break into his room at next RT. who's with me?*


And that, is FINALLY the end. Hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed asking all those invasive questions! I plan an update interview for somewhere around March, so keep an eye out for it!

My Diet - Week...8?

It’s FINALLY time for an update! Sorry ya’ll, got traumatized by work and life. The last time I weighed in at the actual center, I think I was 267. As of this morning, the scale said 258. That’s almost 3 weeks to loose 9 pounds, however, I was steadily loosing a pound a day until Sunday. Saturday I was 257, Sunday morning I was 263. And I’ve been steadily fighting it down since then. Most of this is due to PMS. Ya’ll ladies know what I’m talking about. You know it’s coming because you get bloated first. So I’m dealing with it, waiting for the main show to arrive (because it hasn’t yet which is worse), hoping once it does I suddenly drop 5 lbs in one day the same way I gained it overnight.

I’ve been on the 700 calorie diet for like 9 days now and it’s driving me crazy. But when I eventually get in there to do a weigh-in I’m sure it will be worth it. So I promised to explain the actual levels of the diet I’ve been through so far.

500 Calories
You start off here. You’re only supposed to be on this one long enough to get into a state call ketosis, wherein your body is basically tricked into eating fat instead of muscle for energy. You do this by cutting you carbs and increasing your protein intake by what most doctors consider dangerous percentages. Some of the side-effects of ketosis are severely low blood-sugar and kidney stones, which I’m prone to. You test your ketosis level using Ketone strips you can get at any drug store. I get 50 for $10 at Walgreens.

So here is a page out of my food diary while I was on the 500 calorie diet:

Water = 140 ounces
Fish Oil= 4 Capsules
Coffee with Splenda = 2
1 Orange flavored supplement (60 calories and tastes like Tang. I love it!)
1 boiled egg
1 slice of bread
1 cup lettuce
4 ounce of chicken
½ cup steamed spinach
1 cup lettuce
1 double chocolate pudding supplement (90 calories and also very yummy)

So I drink 20 ounces of water first thin when I wake up. By 7am, I have my first supplement. These are protein-rich supplements designed to keep you from being hungry. Three hours later I have the egg and use it to take my medicine, 2 of the fish oil capsules and the multivitamin and mineral pills they give you. By this time I’ve had 60 ounces of water. Three hours after that I have lunch, which is the slice of bread and the cup of lettuce and another 20 ounces of water. I can use that salad spritzer if I want, which is one calorie per spray, but after a while it gets old. Three hours later I have dinner, which is the chicken, the vegetable and the lettuce and 20 ounces of water. Three hours after that I have the other supplement and another 20 ounces of water or double that right before I go to bed.

The first time I did this, it took me 7 days to show as being in ketosis. Drove myself crazy every morning peeing on the strip and waiting 15 seconds before looking, only to see nothing…when I finally saw the strip turn the faintest pink color I was so happy!

From this point, you’re supposed to move up to the 600 calorie diet…provided you don’t cheat and knock yourself out of ketosis, which I did…often.

The 600 calorie diet isn’t much different. Just replace the food on the list above with other food Breakfast was ½ of a small orange and a slice of diet bread with diet spreadable cheese on it. Lunch was a egg and a cup of salad and dinner was 4 ounces of chicken, ½ cup of vegetable and a slice of diet bread.

The 700 calorie diet that I’m now on is ½ slice of bread and an egg for breakfast, 3 ounces of chicken, ½ an apple and a cup of lettuce for lunch and 4 ounces of chicken, ½ cup of vegetable and ½ slice of bread for dinner.

All in all, it’s boring stuff, but sticking to it is getting harder and harder. I’ve spoken to several different people who either have finished this diet or are in the maintenance phase of it after having lost the weigh they wanted to lose. Some cheated on a regular basis and some didn’t cheat at all. The one thing I have noticed is that each person had to find the thing that worked for them before actually being ok in the diet as a whole. One girl found that if she let herself cheat at all, she went on week-long binders eating everything in sight. Another found that if she just cheated for one meal once per week, it made being good the rest of the time possible. Personally, the second one seems to work for me. I let myself have one meal per week where I eat what I want. Not huge mountains of food. Just normal portion sizes, and I don’t order ANYTHING large-size except maybe my diet coke on occasion.

Speaking of “occasion”, I had the best laugh last week. I went to McD’s for Little Man on our way to…crap. Can’t even remember where we were going. But anyway…
We went and I was getting him a happy meal and just a large diet coke for myself, and we’re sitting in the drive-thru waiting to order and he looks out the window and yells, “Look mommy! Kitties!” He LOVES animals in general but cats seem to be his favorite so far. You know there are always strays living around the dumpsters at restaurants and at this particular location there’s a McD’s, Barnhill’s, Sonic, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut…you name it, it’s all in one spot. So these cats are living large. So he’s sitting there making goo-goo faces at the kitties and he stops and says, “Mommy how can you tell if it’s a boy kitty or a girl kitty?” By this time of day, I’m brain dead. I basically tend to just tune him out and reply to his queries on auto-pilot, but by some miracle that day I was half-way paying attention to him as he prattled away and actually managed to respond “By looking very closely honey, we can’t tell at this distance.” They were a good 50 feet away.

So I’m staring at the sign McD’s has showing the toys they’re currently giving out, wondering when beanie babies will die in general and he goes, “wait mommy, I zoomed in, it’s a girl.”
Now I have to explain. When people ask me questions, I have what basically amounts to a zillion pairs of eyes in my head that look up information so I can answer them fairly intelligently. When I give you a stupid answer, you can bet those eyes are not working for one reason or another. But occasionally, when someone says something that just totally stumps me, it’s like all those pairs of eyes get crossed at the same time and you get a system error…that’s what happened to me here. I was like, “WTF?” I knew there was no set of binoculars or anything in the car and as I’m turning my head to look at him I’m wondering how the hell he “zoomed” in…and then I see.

He wears glasses as most of you know. He had slid the glasses off his nose and was holding them about 2 inches in front of his eyes…that was his “zoom”! LOL! It was priceless! I tried SO HARD not to laugh I bit my tongue until it bled. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but it was hilarious.

Anyway, that’s my diet update. Life in general has been hell on wheels lately. Work is aggressively seeking to thin out the ranks, so everyone is looking over everyone’s shoulders and the atmosphere is tense to say the least. Beyond that, I diet because that’s the only food I have in my house and in a time of turmoil having a routine is comforting. I cheat once a week Saturday nights with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s all to myself. My current fave flavor is Americone Dream. And looking forward to that all week every week helps keep me on track. I’ve stopped testing for ketosis because I was driving myself crazy checking several times a day to see if I was in or out of it and none of it really matters because I’m still loosing weight. Besides, know that I know ketosis can cause kidney stones, having actually had surgery in February to break some up so I could pass them, I really don’t want a daily reminder that if I’m in ketosis, which is good, it will cause kidney stones, which is bad. My psyche can’t take the pressure basically.

Other than that, I just function like a good little robot. I don’t see it in the picture, but maybe you can. Everyone keeps telling me I’m disappearing before their eyes. Of course they’re always looking at my chest when they say this so it tends to piss me off more than flatter me. But they mean well.